Celebrities with herpes

Real talk: STIs can be passed on from any form of sex, including and especially oral sex. The most effective way of protecting yourself is to use a condom from the start of any sexual contact as infections can be spread by bodily fluids including saliva, vaginal fluids, semen and blood. We’re proudly gynae-backed, and our Co-Founder Dr Sarah Welsh shares why it’s so important to challenge shame around sexual wellness:

Celebrities and STIs

We need to talk about STIS. No one is immune to sexually transmitted infections – not even celebrities. Fairly understandably, famous faces aren’t rushing to disclose their sexual history, especially given the shock factor of renowned sex symbols discussing STI transmission. However, renowned figures may have a positive part to play in destigmatising sexually transmitted infections, by speaking openly and honestly about their experiences.

Which celebrities have openly discussed STIs?

In 2020, it was revealed that Hollywood film star Shia LaBeouf allegedly covered STI symptoms with makeup and knowingly infected his ex, singer FKA Twigs. This news, along with further allegations of Shia’s abusive behaviour, shone a light on the very real actuality that celebrities are dealing with the same sexual health issues many of us are experiencing, too. We applaud FKA Twigs for bravely sharing her experience, and also helping to raise awareness of the nuanced nature of STI transmission. If an award-winning singer songwriter and mysterious creative icon is brave enough to share her story, there’s a strong chance her audience will be less embarrassed and start having conversations with their partners, friends and family about sexual health.

If you’re a Ru Paul’s Drag Race UK fan, you’ll have seen contestants tackling heartfelt topics across the workroom tables. From Ginny Lemon and Bimini’s discussion about being non-binary to lipsync assassin Tayce’s ‘confessional’ where they revealed that they were diagnosed with chlamydia and gonorrhea when they were 18, such honesty on mainstream TV is a big step forward. Tayce’s openness when discussing their personal experience with STIs, and the associated emotions of shame and guilt , was widely praised as playing a vital role in smashing stigmas around STIs , with sexual health charity, the Terrence Higgins Trust , leading the charge over on Twitter.

Discrimination against people living with HIV is perhaps the most pervasive of all. There are, however, numerous names in the spotlight who have spoken about their HIV-positive status, to widespread support. In the US, Queer Eye icon Jonathan Van Ness opened up about their diagnosis in their recent memoir, whilst actor Billy Porter has also detailed his experiences, too. There is no one experience of living with HIV, and with advances in treatment, it is no longer the ‘death sentence’ reported on in the 80s. The more we see different, individual journeys represented in the headlines, the more we as a society can expand our own understanding and expectation of what life with HIV can entail – and support those in our own communities.

Should celebrities talk about STIs?

• Put simply: visibility matters. Try googling for other ‘celebrities with STIs’ and you’ll come up with rumours – and not much actual fact. Aside from the feared damaging impact on securing much-desired leading roles and endorsement deals, celebrities are just like us. They’re not immune on a personal level to judgement and shaming that people often experience when ‘admitting’ to having/had an STI.
• It all comes down to old-fashioned stereotypes around sex. No, having an STI doesn’t mean you’re dirty, or that you’re promiscuous. Most often, it’s the result of carelessness of getting caught up in the moment, being unprepared, misunderstanding processes to keep safe or plain old unsure of the causes and treatment of STIs.
• We need to ensure that every single person on the planet feels comfortable to seek treatment when they need it – and be educated to protect themselves, too.

Can anyone get an STI?

So, what does this mean for us muggles? (Yes, non-celebrities are referred to as muggles in certain Los Angeles circles). Well, with over half a million people in the UK diagnosed with an STI every year, it’s hugely important to be aware and proactive when it comes to preventing infection. Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are infections transmitted via sexual contact and can become sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) if the infection is exacerbated. The more familar names include chlamydia, gonorrhoea, syphilis and trichomoniasis – but there are actually more than 30 infections you need to be vigilant against.

Can you get STIs from oral sex?

Real talk: STIs can be passed on from any form of sex, including and especially oral sex. The most effective way of protecting yourself is to use a condom from the start of any sexual contact as infections can be spread by bodily fluids including saliva, vaginal fluids, semen and blood. We’re proudly gynae-backed, and our Co-Founder Dr Sarah Welsh shares why it’s so important to challenge shame around sexual wellness:

“There’s definitely still an awkwardness around open, honest chats about sex. STIs are all too often approached in a way that leaves everyone involved feeling embarrassed or none the wiser. This perpetuates taboos, stereotypes and myths, making people less likely to access help or improve their sexual health. Our recent intimate health survey found that 40% of respondents wouldn’t tell family or friends if they were suffering from intimate health issues. This needs to change.”

The HANX guide to preventing STIs:

1. Cover up. Use internal/external condoms or dental dams when embarking on any new sexual relationships (whether they’re casual or monogamous). Make sure you’re using the right size condom with your partner, too. Check out our Large Size Condoms for the perfect fit.
2. Get it on the regular – STI tests, that is. That means having a test before getting intimate with any new sexual partners and making sure you’re taking active steps to protect yourself – no matter what they say their sexual health status is. You don’t even need to leave your house! SH:24’s free, discreet and confidential service means you can test at home and pop your kit straight in a post box. Extra convenient and no one will be any the wiser that’s what you’re doing – if you don’t want them to be.
3. Myth busting: heard the rumour that spermicides stop you contracting an STI? Not true. In fact, products containing spermicides might increase your risk of contracting HIV and other STIs as a chemical included (Nonoxynol-9) can irritate vaginas and make it easier for STIs to enter your body.
4. Stay alert. You know your body best, so keep a close eye on yourself for any changes. Be especially aware of strange symptoms and unexpected changes to your body, including unusual discharge, itchy genitals or pain when you pee. If you’re experiencing these symptoms, book in for an STI test or order one online ASAP – it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Finally: a loving message to our famous friends. Vulnerability is powerful. If you are one of the many millions of people who have experienced a sexually transmitted disease, consider sharing your story with your audience. The more we destigmatise STIs, the better we as a society, will become at preventing them. Open communication is the catalyst for change – and we salute every single person, famous or not, who has taken a deep breath to tackle discrimination. Let’s change our approach to sexual wellness, one Instagrammed STI test at time.

Want more?

• Meet the Hornicultural Society. Find out why we teamed up with Relate to tackle the rising rate of STIs in over 60s with. gardening themed condoms.
• This is Safe Sex 101. Here are our top tips on how to keep yourself and your partners protected from sexually transmitted infections.
• Shop our natural, ultra-sensitive, CE mark verified condoms here.

Celebrities with herpes?

My plan this week was to write a blog about celebrities with herpes (a.k.a. herpes simplex virus or cold sores). It was my hope that by putting additional faces (especially famous faces) to this condition, we could feel a sense of camaraderie. I hoped we would be able to see that there are plenty of successful people with herpes and seeing that would give us hope. I underestimated the power and bias of the media. The media is to celebrities with herpes as society is to individuals with herpes. Mean, nasty, hateful, and just plain not nice. I had no idea what I was in for when I started researching for the article. Step one: Google “celebrities with herpes.” Here’s a partial list that comes up …

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• Paris Hilton
• Britney Spears
• Kim Kardashian
• Brad Pitt
• Rihanna
• Michael Jackson
• Usher
• Justin Timberlake
• Kate Moss
• Anne Heche
• Cheryl Crow
• David Beckham
• Victoria Beckham
• Katie Holmes
• Joshua Jackson
• Alyssa Milano
• Jessical Biel
• Jessica Alba
• Pamela Anderson
• Orlando Bloom
• Mariah Carey
• Scarlett Johansson
• Derek Jeter
• Robin Williams
• Michael Vick
• Chris Brown
• Tony Bennett
• David Hasselhoff
• Lindsay Lohan
• and the list goes on .

The only one that seems to have “come out” of her own accord about being diagnosed with herpes was actress Anne Heche. She wrote a memoir about her childhood sexual abuse and her acquisition of herpes as a result. All the other celebrities seems to have been “outed” by staff or paparazzi, or as the result of suing a former partner for “infecting” them.

Some disturbing trends: Famous celebrities with herpes in the media

I noticed some disturbing trends in my research for writing this blog article.

First, the victimizing language used in the articles. Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, Mariah Carey, and Scarlett Johansson are all “alleged victims of Derek Jeter” who, according to these online magazines, has been “infecting” a multitude of Hollywood starlets. You’ll noticed that I used quotation marks just then. It’s because herpes is an annoying skin condition, not a life-threatening illness. (Read the “Power of words.“) Yes, it’s yours for life. There is no herpes cure. Neither is there a cure for HPV, the flu, or any other viral infection. Either it goes away, or it stays with you. There’s not much you can do about it. It is not something that has “victims.” Rapists have victims. Murderers have victims. Abusers have victims. One might go so far as to say that cancer has victims. Herpes does not have victims.

Second, the blatant misinformation that is circulating on these websites. Rollingout.com had this gem:

“Even in times when there aren’t any herpes outbreaks, episodes or flare-ups, carriers of the virus must always practice safe sex, even during oral sex, since it can be transmitted from the mouth to the genitals. Condoms must be used consistently and correctly for all sexual encounters, but is not 100 percent foolproof. Imagine having to explain to a potential partner that you have the disease and then sharing the dreadful risks before intimacy — not exactly foreplay.”

There was a great deal of bullshit in that paragraph, so let’s parse it out a bit …

Carriers of herpes do not always have to practice safe sex, especially if they are on suppressive herpes medication and their partners are comfortable with the incredibly low risk of transmission (download the free handouts for detailed breakdowns on transmission rates and read the free e-book to learn the Opportunity way to disclose).

Furthermore, while the virus can be transmitted from mouth to genitals if partner A has oral herpes and partner B is receiving oral sex, if partner A has genital herpes, it CANNOT be passed to partner B via oral sex. That’s a very important distinction.

Debunking myths: The reality of celebrities living with herpes

Finally, characterizing it as a disease or “dreadful news” that one must explain to a potential partner keeps the herpes stigma going. Is it a difficult conversation to have? Maybe. Articles like that one make the herpes talk a difficult conversation to have (but the herpes talk can actually be an opportunity to connect!). However, if the partner with herpes is well-informed about the condition itself, the herpes transmission rates, and is willing to avoid skin-to-skin contact with blisters during herpes outbreaks, it can be a very manageable conversation (possibly even a connecting opportunity for deeper intimacy).

The judgment about the sex lives of these famous celebrities with herpes is fascinating.

Either they are cast as helpless victims (Anne Heche) or they are taunted and blamed for their poor judgment and risky sexual behavior. There is a serious amount of sex negativity associated with the transmission of herpes. Writers for these sites seem to delight in the drama that abounds when a celebrity is spotted buying an antiviral medication at the drugstore, or an ex reveals that they were “infected” by their “whoring ex.”

Poor Derek Jeter has a flow chart of exes who were alleged “victims” of his sexual proclivities. Maybe Derek Jeter is uninformed. Maybe he’s not on suppressive medication. Maybe he is too afraid to have the herpes talk with his partners because he fears rejection. Let’s not assume that he has nefarious motives or that he is intentionally spreading herpes through Hollywood. Rather than being filled with disgust, as the journalists who wrote these articles clearly are, I am filled with empathy and concern, wondering why someone didn’t explain to him that herpes isn’t so bad, and that it’s okay to talk to partners about it before having sexual contact. I wish someone would tell him that he’s not a herpes perpetrator, he’s most likely just an uninformed person. There is no shortage of those when it comes to herpes in our society. Rather than assigning blame or fault, which we know to be toxic and counterproductive, let us instead strive to open up about STIs and have “the talk” before becoming intimate with a new partner.

Understanding the stigma: Why celebrities rarely disclose herpes

While I was reading these articles, the same thought echoed in my head: No wonder people are afraid to come out, to say “I have herpes.” No wonder there are so many people who come onto our herpes forums who feel like their lives are over because of their diagnosis. Society can be heartless and cruel to people with herpes, and I think this article illustrates that vividly.

Rather than let that ruin my evening, however, I am compelled to action.

Let’s spread knowledge about life with herpes. Let’s spread acceptance. Let’s spread empathy and support. Let’s not spread vicious rumors and sex negative attitudes. Our aim is to normalize conversations around herpes diagnosis and to foster a more empathetic and informed society.

P.S. — If you’re wanting to practice the Opportunity mindset to transform herpes shame into deep, resonant and sexy connection, first download the e-book and handouts, then dive deep into Adrial’s powerful audio course, the Opportunity Lifestyle Guides. (Get it for 10% off when you use the coupon code CELEB at checkout.)

Feeling like you’re the only one? You’re not. Far from it! Join a supportive community of fellow H Opportunists on our free Opportunity Forums.

P.S. This video is part of the free “inside coaching” series.

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